1. Whereas, as in most big cities, the gay scene in Los Angeles has ghettoized and sub-ghettoized itself so thoroughly that few of us are ever confronted with a person outside his or her own narrow demographic. Twinks mingle only with twinks, bears with bears, and many seem remarkably uncurious about life outside of West Hollywood...

2. Whereas Los Angeles is a huge, sprawling metropolis, with more to see and explore than any one of us could ever do in a lifetime, yet hardly a week goes by that we don't hear someone complaining about how sick they are of the Abbey...

3. Whereas the heteros are taking over the Abbey anyway...

4. Have you ever been to a really cool bar, and thought, why don't the gays ever gather at the cool bars? or: this place would be rad if it were packed with hipster homos! So have we. (Sorry, we forgot the whereas)...

5. Whereas secret clubs are fun...

6. Henceforth, on the second Friday of each month, we will take over the coolest bar we can find in greater Los Angeles for one night only, without any warning. Think of it as gay direct action. For one night a month, by our mere presence en masse, we recontextualize the bar you might not otherwise check out into the gay scene you've always wanted. Then, the next night, it's back to normal for another month.

Let the crowd at Saddle Ranch tremble at the impending homosexual revolution!

Homos of Los Angeles unite!